An earie quiet...

I want to thank all of you for continuing to visit the blog and make comments, especially for being gracious about my recent half marathon results. Thank you!

The truth is that my faith has taken a beating over the last few weeks and my doubts (not about God's existence) have escalated. Mostly this deals with our detailer and trying to get the right orders. The bottom line is that the Navy wants us in a place that is significantly further from a treatment center for my daughter than we want to be. I say it like that because the Navy's Exceptional Family Member Program doesn't really tell us how far we can be stationed from a treatment facility, so it's basically our opinion against the detailer's opinion. That would explain the current empasse.

I tried very hard to pray for a particular set of orders. I read scripture about faith, prayed, and talked to others who were stronger in faith than I was. Yet the answer was no. We did not get the set of orders we wanted. In fact, as of right now, I still don't have orders at all. We'll try again in February.

My faith is pathetically weak anyway, but since I prayed very hard with what I felt were the correct motives, and God still said no, I felt let down. It became hard to read scripture for several days and praying anything other than "I don't get it" or "Why?" was more than I could bear.

I've started coming out of this mess; this quagmire of emotions. I still don't get it. I know what the Bible says in Romans 8:28, but it's difficult to accept that right now.

So I'll be spotty for a few weeks until I work this out with God, my family, and the Navy. I'm sure I'll get back to more regular posting once this is settled.

1 comment:

Tony Farson said...

Brother I know your turmoil! I have had you in my prayers often and every time the LORD tells me to encourage you to simply pray for the LORD's will to be done. Just as David prayed for the LORD to spare his son, but God did not or when Christ prayed for the cup to pass him over, but it did not. We are commanded to pray, but to ask all things according to His will. So ultimately we do not persuade the LORD, we align with the LORD.

The Word tells us to be content with our place, and to work where we are called. Perhaps this is a time and place where your faith must be demonstrated to those who see you. Is this a place where you simply surrender to the LORD and trust that He will cause all things to work for the good of those who love Him and for His own glory? You may need to just surrender this to Him with all confidence that He will give you all that you need for life and godliness. He knows what you need before you even ask, and cares for all His creation according to His glory and your needs. Just my two cents gleaned from experience.