I want to thank all of you for continuing to visit the blog and make comments, especially for being gracious about my recent half marathon results. Thank you!
The truth is that my faith has taken a beating over the last few weeks and my doubts (not about God's existence) have escalated. Mostly this deals with our detailer and trying to get the right orders. The bottom line is that the Navy wants us in a place that is significantly further from a treatment center for my daughter than we want to be. I say it like that because the Navy's Exceptional Family Member Program doesn't really tell us how far we can be stationed from a treatment facility, so it's basically our opinion against the detailer's opinion. That would explain the current empasse.
I tried very hard to pray for a particular set of orders. I read scripture about faith, prayed, and talked to others who were stronger in faith than I was. Yet the answer was no. We did not get the set of orders we wanted. In fact, as of right now, I still don't have orders at all. We'll try again in February.
My faith is pathetically weak anyway, but since I prayed very hard with what I felt were the correct motives, and God still said no, I felt let down. It became hard to read scripture for several days and praying anything other than "I don't get it" or "Why?" was more than I could bear.
I've started coming out of this mess; this quagmire of emotions. I still don't get it. I know what the Bible says in Romans 8:28, but it's difficult to accept that right now.
So I'll be spotty for a few weeks until I work this out with God, my family, and the Navy. I'm sure I'll get back to more regular posting once this is settled.