The problem with the man who caused problems on my ship is that he leads a better life than I do. He does not cuss, he does not drink, swear, show pride, and a host of other outright sins, some of which I do commit. He has truly separated himself from the world, which is his claim based on the need to become holy, as the Father is holy.
I can't match that. May I be that honest? You can click away from my blog if you need to. I understand. But the one thing that bothers me about his life is that it is a more "pure" and "holy" life than I live. When he preaches his message of works, I often cringe. I have no such good works (not on that scale) to show potential converts. Unbelieving sailors who see me on the ship don't see a super Christian...they see Dan Smith...just a guy.
I'm not even particularly good at being just a guy. Half of the time I can't even decide what I want from that life either. It is a tough go some days.
Then again, the fact that I cannot measure up to that level of obedience keeps me, in some strange way, humble and accepting of the fact that only God can save me through his grace...through the blood. while I don't believe that salvation has to happen every day, I do see how my saved soul has to continually experience this grace that saved me in the first place.
More obedience is my goal, but I humbly accept that I am just me, and that God, for some strange reason, has kept me around despite that fact!