That Fire in my Heart

Some days I just sit wondering what it would be like to be overseas again, in fellowship with believers of a different culture than my own, to minister again in a different context. Sometimes I get lost in thought and times I don't know what for. I just pray. At other times, I pray for a country that is on my mind. Sometimes I ask God why we aren't overseas right now.

At other times, I try to be productive and understanding. God has placed me at the forefront of a great ministry on the US Navy base in Great Lakes. I'm leading a Bible study for six weeks that started a few weeks ago. Every where I turn, and despite anything I actually want to do, God puts me in ministry with the Navy.

Of course I enjoy the work he has for me. Helping to guide these young Sailors, and leading a Bible study, is always rewarding work. But what am I to do with the fire that is in my soul for those outside our country? My wife and I do support missions overseas, but I cannot escape the fact that my friends are doing what I had hoped the Lord would have called me to do.

Is it ok for a man to feel this way? I never want to question God's will. He is greater than I am by far and all I can do is thank Him for not destroying me. Besides, I've questioned him before and it didn't work out to well. I also know full well that I'm still young and God could still use me overseas someday.

I don't know what I want this post to be about. I know it sounds like a pity-party thrown by yours truly, but it's how I feel, so I'm saying it. I have so much to be grateful for, and I am grateful, but that fire in my heart...I don't know what to do about that. Some nights it hurts pretty bad.

1 comment:

Christian Inspiration said...

It's good to see more honest and truthful posts out there, where you put down your struggles. It let's people know that sometimes in the Kingdom, we all go through times of uncertainty.

My opinion: Keep working the ministry God has given you in the Great Lakes... and if it is the desire of your heart to go elsewhere, keep that passion in your heart... and be patient (and believe) for the Lord to move you to the area of your passion

-Daniel Wiafe